I Want to Cross the Border!!

Actually, the MAIN reason I cannot is due to the fact that I am not in possession yet of a valid passport. But that is not the topic of this blog.

I live in Canada, and the city that I live in is about  2 hours from the US border. I have heard many discussions centering around the dynamics of crossing the border just cuz it can be a weekly occurrence during the summer months.

I am not sure about the rules in other areas of the world, but here a mother (or father) who is going to the States needs to have a letter of written permission from the other parent in order to cross the border.

I am not 100% positive if a parent with full custody needs the consent of the other party. I DO know that a parent that does NOT have full custody needs the consent of the other party. What really irks me though, is that a married woman (or man) who is travelling without their spouse still needs consent. This is because there have been an increase in cases where one parent will take their children outside of the country, without the knowledge of their spouse, and not return. In essence, they have kidnapped their own children.

While I am all for the added protection for children in these cases, I am sickened by the fact that there is a NEED for added protection! What happened to the days where divorce was simple(r), custody battles were uncommon, and devious plans using children as pawns were non-existent?

Why can’t we just all get along?!

I know… I am not really one to talk. I don’t get a long all that well with my ex. (he is an idiot! I have every reason to not get along with a scumbag loser who doesn’t have all pistons firing). But I have NEVER gone out of my way to make life harder on him. I have never made devious plans regarding my children. Even when he DID kidnap my son from me, and it would have been easy to retrieve him. Neither of us had paperwork declaring custody at the time and in that situation possession is 9/10s of the law. Which means that whomever has the children, has the right. So in essence, all I had to do was find him at a park, take my 16 month old in my possession thus moving the legal right from his hand to mine.

What stopped me from doing this however is not becuase I “didn’t want my chlid” as I was accused, but because I didn’t want my son seeing a legal battle ensure. I didn’t want him to go from never seeing Mommy, to never seeing Daddy.  It was bad enough what my ex husband was putting him through.

In fact, when it comes to dealing with my ex-husband, I ask myself, what is in the best interest of my children? (At this point, the answer is staying as far away from my ex as possible. After his latest stunt, I can’t even think about him without getting angry.)

It saddens me that the norm in today’s society is devious plans that undermine the other parent and using the children as pawns. That a person is more concerned about the best way to hurt  their spouse, or former spouse, than they are about raising well rounded, well educated children. It saddens me that people have taken actions and made simple things, such as crossing the border, more difficult than it needs to be.


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