A is for Alienate

School is out! I couldn’t be happier. To be honest, I don’t even care too much about the grades that I passed with and the reason for this is many.

– I know that I passed. I ran the numbers before I went into each of my finals. Mathmetically, it was impossible for me to fail any of my classes. I could even NOT write my exams and I would still get a passing grade. Just barely, but passing nonetheless.

– These classes aren’t really going to count toward my degree now that I have decided to change majors. Granted, yes I would like to, in the future, go back and complete my psych degree, just to say that I did. But my career choice will not be dependent on what I get in these four courses.

And finally the biggest reason that I have for not even caring anymore is the fact that I have seen many different types of students over the past 8 months, and I have to say the biggest ones that irritate me are the ones that would do ANYTHING for a 4.0 GPA. They spend countless hours with their nose in a book. Meanwhile, Life is passing by, right in front of them, and they don’t even care to see.

These are the students that have a pissing war to see who has spent the most amount of time studying. They have yet to realize that its not the quantity of studying that they do, its the QUALITY of studying that they do. As I recently was told “I don’t study, I learn” (Granted, this was in regard to my son’s spelling test, but the same holds true to any sort of learning environment).

These are the students that look at me like I have ten heads if I decide that I am going to spend an evening with my children instead of studying. The ones that do not understand why I am okay with taking a “0” on an assignment worth 5% because I have to attend a ceremony where my son (who has always had issues with reading) receives a literacy award.

These students have competitions on who will get the highest grade. A 4.0 isn’t enough, they want the A, and if someone else gets the A, an A+ is what they are after.
I have asked, many times WHY!?

What does it get you? In the whole grand scheme of life, what does an A get you? What is the difference between an A and and B? Or hell, for that matter, an A and a C.

The only thing that I can really see is that A is for alienate.

Yes, I am fully capable of getting As. I know my stuff. I know how to study. I have employed many study techniques that have worked in the past. But what does that get me? An overworked husband as he picks up the slack from all the roles that I have dropped. Lack of friends, because I didn’t have the time to maintain the friendships. Two children who don’t even know me anymore, and the only thing that they DO know is to be scared to talk to me because Mommy might be wound so tightly from all the school stress that she could snap at any moment.

Alienation. I will have alienated my friends, my family, my kids, my husband. Is a silly little A even worth that? Will an employer need to know that I have “honours” on my degree? Will have “honours” make me a better counseler?

I am going to have to say, no it won’t. In fact, I don’t care what kind of counselor I am at the end of my education. If I do not have my friends, family and children standing beside it wil be all for naught.

And so, I have come to the conclusion that A is for Alienate, and I made the promise to myself, and to my children when I started school that Mom will ALWAYS come before Student. And now, I reiterate that promise here and now for when I start my next step path on my journey:

Though I am capable of receiving As, NO mark is worth the loss of a quality in my relationship with my husband and children. My role as wife and mom will always come before student.

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