I can’t stand him. I really really can’t.
He is my ex-boyfriend. He WAS the one I saw a future with. More so than any of the other losers I dated before I finally realized how much I cared for my fiance. It is a tangled tangled web that I find myself in, and for the sake of my fiance, E and I try to stay on mostly civil terms. Hell!
Most, some, every once in awhile we can even call each other friends!
But then, as with most love/hate relationships, there are the other times. The times that the mere mention of his name will grate on every nerve in my body. Those times, I lose all rationality in my brain.
I try SO hard to be reasonable. I keep telling myself “react like it was somebody else. ANYbody else”
But I never can.
Here is the story:
Last night, spontaneously we ended up over at a friends house. I stayed while Fiance went to work. Tonight, I knew that he had plans later in the evening, but I was hoping that I would get SOME time to spend with him during the afternoon. POSSIBLY even get doted on just a little bit, due to the hangover I should be nursing.
Nope. He gets home and its, Oh,btw I’m going to a movie at 2 with E. Then straight to sleep he went. ARAGH!
He woke up, and okay, to his credit did ask agian. I didn’t get your answer. Is it okay if I go to the movie today? My response was as honest as I could be. No, but only because its E. Which wouldn’t fly well with anyone, so naturally he decided to go.
That hangover that I was supposed to be nursing? Yeah, he went to go get me my hangover food (hashbrowns) but left me to cook them. (to his credit he also gave me a mars bar, left sitting at the computer…. its almost as if he knew I would be here bitching to the very understanding computer)
I then went on to go find stupid little things to be mad about.
“The dishes aren’t done, thats YOUR job. ” “I know, I promise I will get them done first thing tmrw morning”
“Litterbox hasn’ t been cleaned” “Yes, I will do that too”
“My house is a mess, and I haven’t even been home” “I know honey, but you have kids who have been”
“I’m hungover! Take care of me” “That’s not my fault hon. No sympathy (which is mutual rule for the both of us)
“Go on Monday!” “Thats date night”
“But why does everyone else get the ‘I don’t do short notice’ but E gets away with it?” “Cuz its a Movie I REALLY want to see”
“But it’s our anniversary” To this one, I got an incredulous look due to the fact that just 6 days ago he brought up the fact that his End of the Year Bowling Dinner was going to be on our anniversary and I had gone on a speel about how we had been together long before this date. This date just happens to be the day that him and I looked at each other on the couch and said, “so we’re dating?” “Yup”
And so on and so forth.
As he is leaving he comes to me over to me as I plant a pout on my lips. He looks at me and says is it gonna be a half hearted kiss? (It was)
“Tell E he is ruining our relationship!” “I will.” “Really?” “No” Yeah, I figured that one was too much to ask.
I know half of my arguements were borne out of frustration due to the dislike that I have for E. But it still doesn’t change the fact that this could potentially be a problem for us in the future. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that *I’m* going to have to be the one to make the effort since *I”m* the one that has the issue.
I hate when you’re right.
What do you do when you dislike your spouse’s friends? Do you tell them? Do you keep it to yourself? Do you set boundaries?