My husband is quite the laid-back, easy-going type. He flys by the seat of his pants. Plans arise, and he goes with the flow. Nothing seems to phase him.
Me? I’m the opposite. I am high maintenance, and I like to plan. I like to schedule and know what is going on, damn near every minute of the day. Spontaneity is not my forte, and I quite hate having a wrench thrown into my plans.
We don’t mesh all that well. Except for the fact that since he is so easy-going, he is getting accustomed to having his week planned out ahead of time.
But I am getting the sense that it is not enough for him.
Last week, he had plans with friends that ended up falling through. He was ecstatic. He could play video games, alone, all night long. This was the first night in over two weeks that he had to himself. He had his birthday weekend, and work, and social engagements; most of which he did out of obligation, cuz they were MY social engagements.
Tonight is Movie Night, and we have friends coming over; he had to turn down his best friend, who lives out-of-town, on an impromptu game night. He scheduled the same friend for the following week, asking if it was okay with me to move our weekly Date Night to Tuesday.
To this, I was agreeable to.
Then shortly after this occurred his other best friend, (the one I hate) asked for his second, and only other, night off next week.
Now, I am sitting here, trying not to be upset that this friend seems to be trying to monopolize yet another date night of mine, and thinking, should I just let things be?
I mean, I know the importance of a weekly date night. It helps keep the relationship strong. It can also be a preventive measure, to ensure that we still make time for each other, even after we are married for twenty years. I have seen some marriages become revitalized after the couple has made sure that time for each other becomes a priority. This is one of the reasons we have decided to implement date night. Also, because I am high maintenance and the fact that I know that I am having one whole night all to myself makes it easier for me to agree to other nights out with the boys. He knows that I need to be shown that I am important to him, and this is his way of showing that.
But then, shouldn’t I return the favour? Show him that he is important to me by not having date night become a “chore”? I know that he craves much-needed Boy time to veg and nerd out with some video games. Especially after being pushed into Step-Dad role all week. The last thing he needs is to feel like Husband role is yet another thing that he is required to do.
Being a husband shouldn’t be a chore. It shouldn’t be something that is neatly laid out for you, with the do’s and the don’ts. It should be a learning process, that is done together.
I know that he loves me. I know that he wants me, and wants to be with me. I know that he would crawl to the ends of the earth with his d*ck dragged through glass for me….. okay, maybe that last part is a bit much. Either way, Date Night isn’t a necessity for us. Not yet anyway, because I know that I am his everything. Even if he doesn’t show me, or tell me, all the time.
So yes, allowing date night to take the backseat to offers from friends won’t hurt us.
Besides, listening to him play Battleship with Kid means so much more than a night with me vegging on the couch any night.