I have a confession to make. I have been harbouring some hurt and anger. At the start of my journey into learning of Baby’s diagnosis, I turned to a friend. Someone I trusted and respected. The response that I got, was not one that I was expecting and planted a seed of guilt in my heart.
In not so many words I was told that the reason Baby is getting into trouble at school is because she wants more attention from me. I took this very personally. I felt like I was being told that I am a bad mom, and that I shouldn’t be focussed too much on my school; and as stated in a previous post, I try to be as active as possible in my children’s lives, and their education.
For weeks, I harboured this anger. I would make snide remarks, mainly to myself. Every time I thought of the comment, I would get very angry, all over again.
Until I came to conclusion yesterday, and it was a simple conclusion. Let it go.
This person only knows what they know. And what they know is that I have class 3 nights a week, and that I am working hard to get A’s so that I have a better chance of getting into social work, and that I am stressed because of this.
They are not aware of the Family Fun Night that I attend every single month. Nor about the volunteer work that I do at the school, or the Game Night, Family Meetings and everything else that I do. They are also not aware of the team of professionals I have standing behind me on this journey
So, I have decided that I will let it go. That I will chalk up to a bad presentation. I know this person well enough to know that intentions are pure. Offence was not intended and instead of listening to the words that are spoken, perhaps I should look beyond the words and interpret the meaning behind the words. The meaning was well – intended; that maybe I am putting schoolwork before my daughter. The delivery of the intent was poorly executed but we are all humans. Sometimes we make mistakes and do not think about how the delivery will be taken.
And I must say, since reaching this conclusion, I feel much better. The anger, the hurt and the guilt that I have been carrying with me is gone, and that leaves room for more productive feelings and emotions. Such as pride for Baby for having a really good week at school. Such as love and gratitude to Kid for being so supportive in this journey. For love for my husband for standing beside me.