I am a Type A personality and it takes a lot of effort, and reminding, for me to “live in the moment.” I am constantly living in the future. I try not to worry, because I believe things will work out. But, at the same time, things always work out because I am aware of what I need to do to make my future run smoothly.
Even now, as I am wrapping up my psychology degree, all I can think about is finding a job. What type of job will work for me? Where will I be happy, but still be able to make enough money for our family to live comfortably? Am I willing to give up my volunteer time at my children’s school? What are my priorities, and how can I find a job that will help me pursue my passions?
These are some of the thoughts that plagued me as I was driving this morning. I was also plagued with thoughts such as, What if my husband falls asleep before I get home? Will my kids destroy my house? Will they watch television, knowing they are grounded? Should I leave school early? I wish I didn’t have to go to school. I should be at home fine tuning my resume.
Then it hit me. I was on my way to class. My LAST class. Not just of this course. Of my entire degree. After this, the only thing I have to worry about is passing my final exam. I never have to go to school again. I never have to sit through a boring presentation. I never have to stay awake at night trying to cram for a final exam. No more study groups, no more school supplies, no more stressing about grades or GPA. I will be done. My ten year old dream of obtaining a B.Sc. in Psychology will be complete. I will have letters behind my name! (Now I just have to figure out what my name will be 😛 )
That thought causes me anxiety. I am going back to planning out my near future.