Stream Of Concsiousness- Average


The average drug or alcohol addict is 15 years old when he or she begins using. That is a stat that I came across today. In fact, I think that the actual statistic was 15.9 years of age.
How did I come across this statistic? Because I was researching rehabs. I was researching rehabs because I have a person really close to me that is in need of a rehab.

He was about that age when the signs of addiction first became apparent. When I was a young girl, I lived with addicts. Alcoholics, mainly but there were other addictions in my home. I saw the warning signs. I knew what I was looking for. I ignored them. I thought once he moved away from the people that he used with, things would get better. He could start his life all over again. It would be a fresh beginning. That the hurts and the demons that plagued him here would stay here.

I was wrong. The demons never went away. They hid. For years they found a hiding place and festered and grew undetected. Unbeknownst to anyone else, they grew to astronomical proportions. No one knew. Until they became all-consuming and almost threatened to swallow him whole. They almost succeeded too.

The past few days I have had to deal with a roller coaster of emotions. I have been stuck, here, while he is there. The demons have finally reared their ugly heads. He finally admitted the demons that he was fighting. And they are some strong demons. Everyone here knew there was demons. He kept secret just how big they were. Until the secret could not be kept any longer. He was on his way from there to here when the demons just became too much for him to fight anymore. It was a losing battle and he was losing it fast. He had the foresight to realize that he needed to call in reinforcements, before he succumbed to the demons that he was fighting.

In races the ill-prepared Queen to save him from the demons. She is strong, but they are stronger. The burden of saving him is almost too strong for her to shoulder by herself. This is where I come in. I am the support on the other end of the screen. I am doing research on his demons, and finding different weapons to use in the battle. Weapon after weapon I stock in the arsenal for the Queen. Meanwhile, He never did make it Here. He got stuck somewhere between here and there, and I was not able to deliver the weapons in person.

I had to go on with Life, even though I felt like life was crumbling down around me. I had to wake up and take Kid and Baby to school. I had to go to work, and work with my client. Or with 25 kids at my other job. Or cook the dinner, clean the house, do the dishes, sort the laundry. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, the knowledge that at any moment the demons could win the battle was there. The thought tormented me, tried to consume my actions, succeeding only in consuming every available thought.

The demons have backed off. For now. He finally arrived Here, with the Queen. The optimism that the battle will be won is high. Meanwhile, I am still stocking up my arsenal for when they return.




This post is part of the SoCS


5 thoughts on “Stream Of Concsiousness- Average

  1. Wow – it sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time. Best of luck to both you and your loved one. Stay strong. 🙂
    Would you like me to link your post back to my prompt page so the other people taking part in SoCS will read this?

    • As with any addiction Suzjones, the battle is never won. They lay resting, dormant, and sometimes the peek their head up to remind you they are still there.

      He IS however dealing with the withdrawals, and soon, when he is well enough, we will get him into counselling, or rehab, or both, to deal with the demons that drove him to the addiction to begin with. I am confident this is now a winning battle. Finally, after 3 days of my personal hell, I managed to see him for the first time in 5 years. It was a relief
      to see him. 🙂

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